At a time when we've all been made to stay home and be with each other 24
hours a day, every day, it may sound a little strange when I say "don't break
promises with yourself" but now it's more important that you don't. We're
spending all of our time together, the
kids are at home, the family indoors all day every day and it can get to you if you're not
used to it, so breaking promises with yourself, even if they're just small
ones, can lead to you feeling down and stressed.
Promises I Break With Myself
I'm terrible for breaking promises with myself. During the day I'll decide
that I'm going to have a shower the next day, and then I don't. I know it
sounds silly but even something small like that can make you feel
unappreciated and low. By not having a shower I'm basically telling myself I'm
not worth it, and if I think I'm not worth why would anyone else?
Okay so having a shower may not seem like a promise you make to yourself, to
some people it's just something you do every day. But as a busy mum with
everyone home I feel like taking the time for a shower takes time from other
things and then I'm hurrying around trying to get everything done in the day.
I don't take that time up for myself because I think other people deserve the
time more than I do. But on the other hand, I'm not taking care of myself so
how can I properly take care of others?
When you're happier you get more done, simple.
It's not just about having a shower, it's about making an effort or sitting to
have a coffee when everyone else is doing school work or their job. This is
the twelfth week of lockdown - I've cooked meals twice a day for those twelve
weeks, I've
kept the house fairly tidy
(for the most part), and I've become teacher too. Huge chunks of my time that
I used to have for myself are now dedicated to others, and my mood has no
doubt been affected.
The Benefits of Not Breaking Promises With Yourself
Simple promises you tell yourself might seem small and insignificant, and when
you break those promises you don't think there are any consequences, I know
that's what I think most of the time. But let me tell you a few benefits of
keeping those promises.
You get to do the stuff you planned - it
may sound obvious but those things you want to do? You'll actually get to do
them! Whether that's having a shower, sitting to enjoy a hot coffee, or
reading a chapter of your book, you'll get a little time for yourself.
Boosts confidence - imagine taking the
time to have a shower, get dressed, and even do your make up. You make
yourself feel good and you smile for the rest of the day right? When you keep
those promises you're telling yourself you're worth it, you're worthy of
self-care.
Boosts productivity and happiness - When
you're happier you get more done, simple. It could be cleaning the house, or
teaching the kids, but if you're happier you will get more done.
A happy mum = a happy family - or by
making yourself happy first you can then share that happiness with others.
You're more likely to want to do things when you're in a good mood.
How To Keep Promises With Yourself
Be Specific
Instead of saying "I want some me time" set aside 1 hour per day to read,
drink a coffee and watch trashy TV, or do puzzles on your iPad. Or have a
shower!
Tell Someone
If promising yourself you'll do something doesn't work share that promise with
someone else. Tell someone you're going to spend one hour per day doing what
you love. Whether it's a partner or a friend sharing your promise will help
you stick to it.
Start Small
Like I said, at a time like this you may only want small things anyway but
starting small will help you keep those promises. Make sure your promises are
doable (like washing your hair) and that you actually want to do it!
Treat Yourself Like A Friend
You would never break promises with a friend would you? If you treat yourself
as you would a friend you're sure to keep those promises.
Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
Lucille Ball
You're NOT Selfish
Try not to think of this as you being selfish. You're not. You
deserve some time
for yourself. You're not being selfish by wanting to do something for yourself
- especially if you spend the majority of your days taking care of others
(hello stay-at-home mums!).
I am so guilty of breaking promises with myself, but this blog post is my way
of 'telling someone' that I plan to keep those promises. I'm going to start
taking care of myself as well as my family - how about you?
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