As an introvert, being told to stay home in March was like being given a
gift. I cheered and was pleased my family would be home too. What I didn’t
consider was becoming stuck in my comfort zone would change me, turn me
into more of an introvert. Leaving the house, even if
it’s to the supermarket, isn’t something I relish, I’d much rather stay at
home. So am I stuck for good, or is there something I can do to help myself?
The impact of Lockdown
I’m an introvert, I enjoy the peace, and loud spaces drain my energy. When
I’m surrounded by people and can’t escape the noise I feel under pressure. I
need space, to think, to be me. Christmas is a stressful time because we
have to travel to Nottingham where lots of families do their shopping. I’m
not an agoraphobe, but I’d much prefer to stay home where it’s peaceful.
A ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what a ship is built for.
Unknown
I thought it was a brilliant idea to stay home, not only for our health but because my home is my favourite place. The problem is by staying home all day every day I’m reinforcing my desire to stay at home. I haven’t been to a supermarket in months (I order online), I’ve avoided public areas. Even local parks and green spaces are no go because of increased visitor numbers. I’m more aware of other people than I used to be, and that can’t be a good thing, can it?
Leaving my comfort zone before lockdown
Before lockdown, I had pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I’d visited the
local University to chat to individuals who had been a part of police investigations. I learned a lot, and they were interesting people with
sometimes amusing stories; it was an enjoyable experience. Speaking to
people who had been there, on the job, gave me insight you just can’t get
from books.
It’s tough to write about an occupation of which you have no experience.
Talking to detectives, or scene-of-crime officers, is an enormous help. Some
questions are answered by information in books, but police officers and people
in other investigative roles have information that isn’t listed in books, and
that’s invaluable.
Getting unstuck
I worry my need to stay home is getting worse. The prospect of going into
town, where hundreds of people mill about the shops and restaurants, fills me
with dread. It’s partially down to the virus, and partially down to me, but I
can’t live this way forever.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable!
Jillian Michaels
So my plan is to make myself do things I’m afraid of - when it’s safe. Once
the virus is eradicated (if that ever happens), or close to, I’ll feel better about going out, and
that’s when I’ll push myself again. Before all this started I had plans to go
to coffee shops to write, to people-watch and record ideas that occur to me. I
want to talk to policemen or people who have worked in the investigative
industry. I may even attend court hearings to gain insight into the process
there. To get myself unstuck I‘ll have to do things that have been on my list
for a long time.
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